Sex, Drugs & Rock-N-Roll ARE GOOD!


IMG_20140112_200119Key questions: how to you cope with the bullshit of life?

We all must cope with and adapt to stress, change and more. Life is an ebb and flow of thoughts, moods, behaviors and situations. Riding that wave and hanging ten out over our board is the goal for which many of us strive. To not just cope and adapt…to succeed, live vibrantly, love deeply and have a shit load of fun.

For me, coping is mental, cognitive. The manner in which I take in and perceive the world is a barometer of how well I am coping. If I think the world is fucked and people are out to get me…I am not coping efficiently. On the other hand, if I think people disagree with me, that’s OK, they’er OK and I’m OK…now, I am more efficient in in my coping.

Adapting is behavioral. When the fit hits the shan, if I am able to problem solve, communicate with others, compromise and select a resolution for a variety of options…I am adapting well. On the other hand, if when the fit hits the shan, I climb into a hole with a bottle of bourbon and shut the world out…over a five day period, perhaps, maybe I am not adapting as well as I can.

We use many things to cope with and adapt to life. Sex, Drugs and Rock-N-Roll are just a few of the connections we leverage to enjoy and enhance life. Are they inherently bad? No. Yet, like so many things in life, over use can lead to issues. It’s all up to you.

For more on this topic, listen to my podcast: Sex, Drugs & Rock-N-Roll ARE GOOD!

Me, Myself and I: People I’d Like to Meet



I can not think of a quality of living that is more difficult to master. To be authentic requires a ton of trust and confidence. Sometimes I lack the trust and confidence that is required to be truly authentic in living; robbing me and my loved ones of a deep and rich life.

Being Genuine.

Again, a difficult task to master and yet one that is so vital to experiencing all that life and love have to offer. If you can not be candid with yourself and others; then life is experienced with one eye open.

To be congruous is the pinnacle of relational quality. For when you have no secrets, when people see the same you on the outside that residing on the inside, you are truly living. Not only are your relationship healthy and effective; YOU are healthy and whole and usually happy.

When it comes to healing, being authentic, genuine and congruous are the gold, frankincense and mere of the game. They are the triple-crown that we all seek and chase and desire. Once one has achieved these status, then healing is truly holistic and life is vibrant and full.

For me, I struggle with these three things. When I am anything other than authentic, genuine and congruous I find that my healing and my relationships turn and I feel more lonely than ever. I am disconnected from the life I want and the life I am choosing to live.

I discuss this topic in grater detail on my recent podcast/radio show.

Go on, listen the episode Me, Myself and I

Just Too F’ing Tired to Heal

To "Tire"-D to Move On

To “Tire”-D to Move On

Have you ever been too tired to go on? To heal? To improve the quality of you life?

Sure you have. We all have. It’s normal.

There have been times when doing what is best, what is right and what is appropriate is just to daunting and damn near impossible to pull off. Taking the high road, being polite, being politically correct, taking into account boundaries and outcomes were as possible as pigs flying out of your ass.

What do you do?

Accept it. Embrace it. Welcome to the human race.

Healing is hard work. Healing is a process and a journey, not to sound or read too cliche. I read too cliche don’t I. I hate when I do that. Yet it is TRUE!

Let’s be honest and human, you can not heal effectively and in a healthy way 100% of the time. That is not human. That’s not the point. So, let’s quit trying to be perfect. Let’s be human.

Sometimes you are going to be too tired to heal. That’s ok. Rest. Stop. Pause. Take a break.

Just make sure you get going again.

For more on this concept listen for the Just Too F’ing Tired to Heal episode of the podcast!

You can go 2 ways; as always


Recently I discovered there was an issue with my lawn tractor. As I would loop around my lawn I noticed that half of the cut was crew cut length while the other half was cut at the length of which I was expecting.

Being the quintessential laziest person in the world and NOT the most mechanically inclined I was ready to call my tractor repair company, have them pick it up, fix it and return it to me good as new.

Enter my father in law! That shrinking sound are my balls shrivel into the size of peas.

He is the Bob Vila to my Tim the Toolman Taylor! He is mechanically inclined and actually owned a service station back in the 60s. He said, “get me the broken part and I’ll get it fixed and buy you some new blades.” Score! I’m as cheap as I am lazy.

For the better part of two hours this Saturday morning I wrestled with my tractor attempting to remove the mower. My neighbor, God love him, came over and helped. I think he was mostly interested in stopping my grunting, groaning and profanity that often escaped the bottom of the tractor. He also let me use his tractor to mow my lawn. It’s good to have friends who have tools and knowledge.


Now as I sit on my deck with my imported, non alcoholic beer, grit and grime and grease under my fingernails and sweat dripping down every part of my torso, I bask in the glow of the knowledge that I have some mechanical skills and ability and may just have saved myself a ton of cash.

Isn’t that the way life always is?!

You put a little effort into something and you feel good about yourself.

On the other hand you put a little cash into something and you feel good about yourself because you don’t have to be f*cking bothered with it you can go about your life.

There’s always 2 ways you can go.

There’s always 2 ways you can look at things.

Depending on how you go…the way you look at things will open doors to how you feel after you complete those things on your to do list.

And how you think aboutyourself as u n sit on your deck with your imported non alcoholic beer and you contemplate complexity of life.

Posted by a Frequent Flyer to Hell and Back using his Phone. Cool!