Anger and Addiction: Failed Healing

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Anger and addiction are two primal manners in which most of us attempt to deal with the bullshit of life.

We learned early in life that when we toss a tantrum, lull the rational mind to sleep or amp-up the rational mind into false exertion with substances our thoughts and emotions shift. Only problem is these behaviors are a hot and sexy shemale disguised as a woman. Wow! Surprise ending. Or perhaps NOT!

Anger and addictions are the “sound” that hurt and fear make as they rapidly exit the soul. Hurt and fear are incompatible with the human soul; and, just like your body expels two-day old sushi you purchased at a convenience store of some gas station, the human soul rids itself of unwanted and unhealthy toxins.

Anger and addictions feel fantastic when we leverage these so-called healing attempts. If it feels good it must also heal good. Right?! Problem is this hedonistic approach is short lived and sided. Or perhaps NOT!

Anger, like an orgasm, is a rhythmic expulsion of physical tensions and expression of emotion. That short burst of energy releases the toxins and feels awesome. I know after I have an explosive episode of anger behaviors I need a smoke; and a fucking nap. God I feel good. Great to release those toxins and grunt. Like a man.

Alcoholic and other drugs calm our fear and soothe our deepest wounds.

Anger and addictions work as advertised. And work well.

We are invincible when using drugs. Those assholes who hurt us, betray us, abandon us can no longer take advantage. When we put on the cape and mask and become Captain Budweiser no foe is too great to take down, no mountain of manipulators too high to scale, no asshole to hidden to expose. We take the bullies prisoner in some weed-induced, inter-galactic battle fantasy of good versus evil. Then the movie ends and the real horror begins.

Anger helps us get and keep what we want. We flight for what we believe in. Fighting express our emotions, expels the physical responses our bodies experience when we are threatened; and if we win, we revel in the spoils of our victory. Most of the celebration taking place between the ears. Hell is in our head. Revenge is sweet in the drive in theater of our mind.

Pouting is how we get the BF or GF to notice us and give us those “strokes” we so desperately need because we are an insecure looser. Isolating is how we secure a sense of security. Hiding in mamma’s basement watching Netflix saves me from being bullied and reinforces my pussiness. Yelling and threatening is how we show people we think we have a bigger dick (aRe nd are the most self-centered) than anyone else and that we, more than others of course, should get our needs met FIRST!

Anger and addiction are the clearest sign that we are in pain, that we feel threatened, that we are wounded and afraid. And, most importantly, that we are avoiding healing and taking control of our lives. Lets hear it for the wimps and pussies too fearful or lazy to actually attempt to heal.

Anger and addiction feel great when we use them because those toxic emotions are quieted, fooled for the moment. Those nagging hurts and fears always return. And with reinforcements. Then we counter with longer binges and more intense anger behaviors. Yeah for the merry-go-round of healing avoidance. Yeah for the clowns who hide from healing. Year for the freaks who embrace healing and personal responsibility.

The alternative is to learn how to effectively deal with the bullshit of life.

How? You ask.

Well ain’t that the million dollar question.

If I Made The Bed

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There is no more of an irritating and inane phrase in all of spoken communication other than: “You Made Your Bed Now Lie In It.”

WTF does that ever mean anyway?

Who lies in a made bed?

I used to fuck in a made bed until I watched Oprah’s episode on hotel bedspreads and germs. Disgusting. Now, I even take down my own bedspread before engaging in the most awesome of all human interactions and behaviors.

If I actually made the bed, then I was clearly incoherent and sleep bed making due  to a drug and/or medication I took before bed that has not worn off yet. I am lazy. I don’t make the bed.

Jerks, usually high and mighty hypocrites who have fucked up more than you and me COMBINED, use this phrase to power up over us and seek dominance in the relationship. Of course, you and I are all too aware of their tiny peckers and their need to compensate through their self-important and appointed role of moral police, yet we must still endure their adolescent display of testosterone driven moral motivational speech making focused on our short comings disguising their own insecurity. God how I hate to have to take the high road all of the time.

Most people know when they have fucked up. It’s a little thing called guilt. And it eats away at your from the inside out. People who have made a mistake or miscalculated a judgement are pretty aware of the outcome of their poorly planned behavior. And yes, there is a continuum of fuck ups. Getting drunk and sleeping with your GF’s sister on the couch of your one bedroom apartment while the GF gets her beauty sleep is on one side of the avenue while slipping off of the roof while cleaning out the gutters is on the other end.

When some self-indulging, a-hole in my life needs to feel better about their life and pathetic little existence on this rock, says, “You made your bed, now lie in it” I usually want to punch them in the scrotum or do terrible things to them with a spork.

What I hear is, “you are a horrible decision maker and you have made my life shit because of your fuck up you pathetic little looser.”

Ok, my interpretation of their lame-ass attempt to power up over me is on me.

And I own it.

Still does not make it any easier to take the cognitive, emotive and behavioral trifecta game to a whole new level.

At the end of the day, if I make the bed the only time I want to be reminded that I am fucked while lying on a made bed is when that bed contains me and at least one special lady. Or two. Or three.

Sex 101 With Prof. Aerosmith

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- By Bobby Vinyl

Mature ContentReader Discretion Advised

Music is poetry in motion, the soul’s deepest and most seductive desires lyrically expressed and exposed for all to experience. Music is muse for those uf us seeking great heights and triumphs.

In the immortal words and lyrics of Aerosmith, when it comes to learning about sex, speak with your girl friend’s father. Yeah. Your GF’s Daddy!

Go on. Try it. Aerosmith can not be wrong.

Oh, I know, you’re thinking, this is suicide. And most likely justifiable homicide, by a father, in forty-nine states. In Texas, dad would be elected Mayor. However, allow the wisdom of Aerosmith’s logic to rattle in your mind and soul:

backstroke lover always hidin’ ‘neath the covers
till I talked to your daddy, he say

SEE Talk To Your GF’s Dad!

he said “you ain’t seen nothin’ till you’re down on a muffin
then you’re sure to be a-changin’ your ways”

If anyone is going to know about gettin’ down on the muffin and changing ways, it would be the man lucky enough to fuck your GF’s MILF of a mother. Ah, how boobs by DuPont can make all of the difference.

Or perhaps your GF’s dad is just brave enough to fuck your GF’s fat and gross mom who has not seen the interior of a gym in two decades.

Or perhaps he is a lonely guy stuck surfing pornhub or youporn at 1 am as the rest of the house sleeps because he is not lucky or brave.

Actually to get sexual tips from a guy who is past his prime and jealous of you because you are entering your prime is probably a waste of time. So skip it and stay alive to fuck another day.

Aerosmith continues:

I met a cheerleader, was a real young bleeder
oh, the times I could reminisce

Dude, nasty. I mean just nasty.

’cause the best things of lovin’ with her sister and her cousin
only started with a little kiss
like this!

Well, as they say in France…”Two Chicks and a Guy is Awesome Sheet

Aerosmith continues:

seesaw swingin’ with the boys in the school
and your feet flyin’ up in the air

Mmmm. Hmmm. Enough said. Sister Mary Alice always suggested in school, keep you feet on the ground and your head in the clouds. Otherwise, start looking for baby strollers you fucking floozy.

singin’ “hey diddle diddle”
with your kitty in the middle of the swing
like you didn’t care

So much for the art of subtlety. And yep, that kitty kitty is what you are thinking. As Sylvester says, I think I saw a puddy cat. on that front porch swing over ‘der.”

Aerosmith continues:

so I took a big chance at the high school dance
with a missy who was ready to play

Good for you. Taking a risk. Putting a stake in the ground. On the other hand, if she was ready to play…how much a risk did you really take?

wasn’t me she was foolin’
’cause she knew what she was doin’
and I knowed love was here to stay

Ah, young fool, confusing sex for love.You will learn. Soon sex will mean you car, house and half of your net worth. Skip marriage. Just find a bitch you can not stand and buy her a house.

Aerosmith continues:

I was a high school loser, never made it with a lady
till the boys told me somethin’ I missed
then my next door neighbor with a daughter had a favor
so I gave her just a little kiss
like this!

Again with the daughter (a.k.a. your GF) and now a neighborhood. Who are the people in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood?

Coffee, Catharsis and Flicks

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Grumpy Gator Cafe’ Press-Release,Tempesta di Merda, Fl.

Bobby Catharsis, life coach and self-proclaimed lover of cannabis, will host a weekly watch and drink coffee and talk about movies evenings at The Grumpy Gator Cafe’ located inside of the Pelican’s Ice Rink.

According to Mr. Catharsis, little know and indie films or as the host stated, “artistic like films man” may be featured however the occasional great film of the 1980s will also be shown. Participants will have an opportunity, for free, to view a film then stay for the cathartic and engaging discussion on psychological themes of the film explores.

Coffee, snacks and a limited set of sandwiches from the cafe’s menu will be available at a reduced cost to film and discussion goers.

Join Bobby Catharsis and your friends or make new film buddies by joining us at the cafe’ for food, film, friends and engaging discussions about life themes represented in film.

Dates TBD. Watch for flyers in the Cafe’.

Listen to The Bob Zima Show on blogtalkradio to more information about the film and catharsis events.

Church at Pelican Rink

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Posted Courtesy of Tempesta di Merda Times

Bob Zima, Owner of the Pelicans and Rink

Bob Zima, Owner of the Pelicans and Rink

Just released from the front office of The Tempesta di Merda Pelicans, Bobby Salvation, a recent graduate of the Trinity Central-Western Florida Theological School of The Divinity, and Bob Zima, owner of the Pelicans and Pelican Ice Rink, have arrived an an agreement that allows Salvation to plant a new church at the rink.

“Shortly after I signed the paperwork that made me the owner of the team and the rink, I was contacted by an eager and energetic would-be pastor who wanted to discuss using the rink as a church on Sunday mornings,” reported Zima. He stated that he and Salvation met at The Grumpy Gator Cafe’ for lunch and discussed Salvation’s ideas which led to a gentleman’s agreement that would give Salvation’s new church a home at Pelican Rink.

“I believe that I am called by God to bring the Good News of the gospel to those who love to swig beer and shout taunts during ice hockey games on Saturday night”, said Salvation. He is a NHL former hockey player who, after a several attempts at rehabbing his own addictions and anger issues found Jesus while knocking around the minor league ranks during the twilight of his career. Once his playing days were over, he funded his bible school through a short order cook position at Denny’s. He met his wife, Sylvia, who was a hostess, at the restaurant. She was his first conversion and the rest is history stated the couple.

Although plans are just underway, Salvation is considering offering a bible study at 9:30 am and then a worship service at 11:00 am. Services will be offered in the main rink area while the bible studies will take place in the visitor’s locker rooms (men’s bible group) and the Pelican’s locker room (woman’s bible group).

Salvation’s focus is to bring people who are not familiar with God or a faith community together on Sundays in an effort to establish an Acts 2 like church.