If I Made The Bed


There is no irritating and more inane phrase in all of spoken communication other than: “You Made Your Bed No Lie In It.”

WTF does that ever mean anyway?

Who lies in a made bed?

I used to fuck in a made bed until I watched Oprah’s episode of hotel bedspreads and germs. Disgusting. Now, I even take down my own bedspread before engaging in the most awesome of all human interactions and behaviors.

If I actually made the bed, then I was clearly incoherent and sleep bed making due  to a drug and/or medication I took before bed that has not worn off yet. I am lazy. I don’t make the bed.

Jerks, usually high and mighty hypocrites who have fucked up more than you and me COMBINED, use this phrase to power up over us and seek dominance in the relationship. Of course, you and I are all too aware of their tiny peckers and their need to compensate through their self-important and appointed role as moral police, yet we must still endure their adolescent display of testosterone driven moral motivational speech about our short comings disguising their own insecurity. God how I hate to have to take the high road all of the time.

Most people know when they have fucked up. It’s a little thing called guilt. And it eats away at your from the inside out. People who have made a mistake or miscalculated a judgement are pretty aware of the outcome of their poorly planned behavior. And yes, there is a continuum of fuck ups. Getting drunk and sleeping with your GF’s sister on the couch of your one bedroom apartment while the GF gets her beauty sleep is on one side of the avenue while slipping off of the roof while cleaning out the gutters is on the other end.

When some self-indulging, a-hole in our lives needs to feel better about their life and pathetic little existence on this rock, says, “You made your bed, now lie in it” I usually want to punch them or do terrible thinks to them with a spork.

What I hear is, “you are a horrible decision maker and you have made my life shit because of your fuck up you pathetic little looser.”

Ok, my interpretation of their lame-ass attempt to power up over me is on me.

And I own it.

Still does not make it any easier to take the cognitive, emotive and behavioral trifecta game to a whole new level.

At the end of the day, if I make the bed the only time I want to be reminded that I am fucked while lying on a made bed is is when that bed contains me and at least one special lady. Or two. Or three.

The Gut IS Smarter Than the Brain


525519_4150106042419_1301880802_nSo, why is it that when it comes to incredibly important life decisions we often rely on our stomach and not our brain and mind?

I feel it in my gut that this is the right thing to do.

It being of course the life changing move that we are about to make. Nice that we allow an entire two consonant word to represent the big decisions we make during our life span.

The stomach is for digesting food and drink not being the reason supporting life altering decisions?

Or is it that the mind and the brain have already weighed in and the stomach is just the television news crew telling a story of procrastination, our procrastination to improve the quality of our lives.

In reality the stomach or gut that is screaming that we should follow the decision already made by the mind and brain is a great example of the body-mind connection. Our stomach is not making any decisions and has very little control. It is the big, dummy cheering in the corner for the cool kids: the mind and brain. The mind and brain just wants to play along and embraces the role of the big, lovable lama ox that ultimately helps us get across the finish line.

The stomach is reacting to the mind’s reminder that a path has been selected and we are going to miss the train, plane and boat if we don’t get a move on. The subtle and often sub-conscious mind reminders fuel small waves of affect that are “felt” in the gut. Our excitement generated as the result of thinking about a change is felt in the stomach, where, apparently, all emotions take flight as physiological sensations.

How can you not love a system that is cognitive, emotional and physical. The three magic powers designed to help us just get our heads our of our asses AND those asses off of the couch.

Listen to your stomach. When it growls, feed it. When it says, get your ass in gear…take a leap of faith and do it.

Lucic & His Becoming Gesture


We live in a society obsessed with:

  • vicarious violence and
  • and sexuality.

Collectively, as a repressed and needing of good cathartic purge group of lemmings, we love hockey, football, action-adventure movies, reality TV (as long as someone else is an ass and we are not the subject of the television voyeuristic exploits) and anything have to do with sexuality.

Combine them together, say a large breasted, blonde cheerleader is held hostage by drug induced captors, during a hockey game, during which an unlikely hero saves the day by locking a shootout goal, then saves the cheerleader while still in his pads by beating the shit out of the captors with his stick.

We are also a tweeting, posting, status updating society comfortable with “saying” just about anything, anywhere because it offers an emotive release and we believe that people really give a shit about our opinions. We bully, appear as stupid and brainless with no effort at all.

So, why then , when a hockey player, pretends to masturbate toward fans of the opposing crowd, can’t we (or more to the point the news media) just report that the player simulated masturbation while being sent to the penalty box?

What puberty experiencing young man has not done this very thing after his parents have sent him to his room for view porn on their iPad?

Are we so delicate a society?

Are we so polite?

Or are we all just full of shit?

I have been to many hockey games and most of the fans do not appear to be overly sensitive. They yell, “FUCK!” when a goal is scored against them. They tell they opposing goal that he “sucks ass.” They taunt the other team and their fans. It’s hockey.

I’d have a lot more confidence in the news media and society if we just were congruent with our worlds: private and public. I’d feel alot better about society if we just got our heads out of our asses and were more genuine and authentic with each other.