I have this old car. Hell, all I have is old cars. Well, that is not true, I have a ’13 Prius.
I also have a ’98 Ford Ranger (an upgrade from a ’93 F-150), a ’02 Land Rover SE7 and a ’91 Nissan Sentra. Yep, my drive way may be in Illinois yet it channels Arkansas.
God has not head my prayers that I be allowed to drive something made in this century. Something about building character and driving perseverance. Whatever.
I typically drive the Ranger. And with the loss of cab space from my F-150 I drive in less than perfect comfort. My fat ass barely fits. I look like 10 pounds of flour in a 5 pound bag. That cloth interior soaks in my sweat and adds a unique aroma to the cab after a long day in summer sun. Yummy!
My daughter, who is a princess and takes advantage of a father who can not say “NO!”, operates and navigates the Land Rover around town. Lots of room for her. Leather. Dual sub roof, A/C, CD/AM/FM. I have a cassette. Great if this were 1995.
The Nissan is a second stringer waiting to be put into the game. Get that helmet on Sentra.
My lovely and sexy wife has the Prius. Happy wife. Happy life.
For several weeks now I have prayed, paid, coaxed, lied, and stole my way to a successful emission test for the Rover. I have paid big bucks, big for me that is: over $700 to secure and install 4 new O2 sensors and a new crank sensor. A new cat to the tune of $2100 was installed 24 months ago. I even put in premium gas. Thank God that Shell had an AED mounted inside the gross and sad little convenience store. I wouldn’t by 2 am coffee and condoms in that store; yet if I needed the monkey to zap be as I fell helpless watching the pump costs rise, I was in.
Nothing works. Reset the codes and computer and within miles, the light is back on.
I unplugged the battery, hoping a cold reboot would solve all of the Rover’s issues.
I now know why terrorists, gun runners and drug smugglers drive Rovers. They are the only people with enough money to fix the buggers.
Nothing works. I have the Check Engine Light blues.
Originally, when the light illuminated, I pulled over, popped the hood and checked under the hood. Yep, the engine is still there,
My mechanic informed me that the illuminated warning was not about the physical presence of the engine and the State of Illinois also gave me until the end of August to get the Rover fixed.
So, for this week, I drive my Rover into the sunset that is the end of my drive awaiting an as is buyer.
Sad. End of an era.