There is no more of an irritating and inane phrase in all of spoken communication other than: “You Made Your Bed Now Lie In It.”
WTF does that ever mean anyway?
Who lies in a made bed?
I used to fuck in a made bed until I watched Oprah’s episode on hotel bedspreads and germs. Disgusting. Now, I even take down my own bedspread before engaging in the most awesome of all human interactions and behaviors.
If I actually made the bed, then I was clearly incoherent and sleep bed making due to a drug and/or medication I took before bed that has not worn off yet. I am lazy. I don’t make the bed.
Jerks, usually high and mighty hypocrites who have fucked up more than you and me COMBINED, use this phrase to power up over us and seek dominance in the relationship. Of course, you and I are all too aware of their tiny peckers and their need to compensate through their self-important and appointed role of moral police, yet we must still endure their adolescent display of testosterone driven moral motivational speech making focused on our short comings disguising their own insecurity. God how I hate to have to take the high road all of the time.
Most people know when they have fucked up. It’s a little thing called guilt. And it eats away at your from the inside out. People who have made a mistake or miscalculated a judgement are pretty aware of the outcome of their poorly planned behavior. And yes, there is a continuum of fuck ups. Getting drunk and sleeping with your GF’s sister on the couch of your one bedroom apartment while the GF gets her beauty sleep is on one side of the avenue while slipping off of the roof while cleaning out the gutters is on the other end.
When some self-indulging, a-hole in my life needs to feel better about their life and pathetic little existence on this rock, says, “You made your bed, now lie in it” I usually want to punch them in the scrotum or do terrible things to them with a spork.
What I hear is, “you are a horrible decision maker and you have made my life shit because of your fuck up you pathetic little looser.”
Ok, my interpretation of their lame-ass attempt to power up over me is on me.
And I own it.
Still does not make it any easier to take the cognitive, emotive and behavioral trifecta game to a whole new level.
At the end of the day, if I make the bed the only time I want to be reminded that I am fucked while lying on a made bed is when that bed contains me and at least one special lady. Or two. Or three.